Hi Jazmine, I enjoyed reading your descriptive writing. You are really working hard on your goal of including more detail in your wriitng. I especially like how you have described my eyes as it forms a picture in my mind. Next time you could add some anecdotes to make your writing more specific to the character such as her eyes are hazel and have sparkles in them especially when she is laughing at the crazy jokes we tell her. Tino pai, Mrs P.
Hi Jazmine, I enjoyed reading your descriptive writing. You are really working hard on your goal of including more detail in your wriitng. I especially like how you have described my eyes as it forms a picture in my mind. Next time you could add some anecdotes to make your writing more specific to the character such as her eyes are hazel and have sparkles in them especially when she is laughing at the crazy jokes we tell her. Tino pai, Mrs P.
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